windspray:

if you’re reading this that means you’re following me congratulations on doing one right thing in your life

dobochan:

dj roomba is literally the greatest thing thats ever happened to me

holyghoul:

im just a human bean

doppelgender:

the saddest part of The Fault In Our Stars was definitely when Augustus fell into the chocolate river and got sucked up into the tube thing

officialalltimelow:

Meeting people on tumblr

PERKS:

  • attractive
  • into the same shit as you
  • kind and understanding
  • humorous
  • good company
  • easy to talk to

CONS:

  • LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE OR ON JUPITER 
me: mom I need a new bottle of toothpaste
mom: finish the one you have sweetie
me: it's empty
mom: *squeezes the bottle and out comes extra toothpaste, Henry the VIII, michael jackson's corpse, the missing malaysian airplane, and 4 prisoner refugees*

harrysthefather:

DO PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND THAT I CAN BE SAD FOR NO REASON 

watermel0n-smile:

he just accepts it, not even surprised by it. must happen all the time

watermel0n-smile:

he just accepts it, not even surprised by it. must happen all the time


mind the glass
mind the glass

zaynrand:

image

IM JUST TRYING TO SPELL POMEGRANATES 

landorus:

i feel like ‘restaurant’ shouldnt be spelled like that

offisir:

do u ever just cum and it ain’t great and ur like “ok that one was super lame”

tapdancers:

wwehs:

how to be an adult

im sad this was so short because he was about to go so hard